Surviving the Darkness
by Raven Ki-Lin
Summary: Vincent must adjust to life without Catherine.  As Jacob's first birthday approaches, Diana and Vincent deal with other anniversaries that will determine what course their relationship will take.   Please read A/N before first chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** ******SURVIVING THE DARKNESS **

**Characters/Pairings:** Vincent/Diana  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** Adult themes. Implied violence. Sexual situations.  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything, anyone or anyplace.

**Please read A/N before reading story.**

**A/N: **I know many B&B fans do not like Diana in Vincent's life. When the creators killed Catherine and brought Diana into Vincent's life, the tunnels were changed forever. While I loved the faerie tale romance of the beautiful Catherine Chandler and the poor Vincent ostracized from society like a beast, I found Diana promised something more substantial. After the harsh reality of losing Catherine, I felt that Vincent would never again be able to return to a relationship based on a dream. I believe Vincent's ability to open his life to another was Catherine's greatest legacy and the refusal to use the love she had taught him to feel would have truly been a tragedy.

Therefore, I decided to give Vincent the chance to find a new life that he wasn't allowed to do before production shut down. I hope you will give the story a chance but I will understand if you don't approve of it. I am posting the first chapter of a long story I have written. However, I will not post any further chapters unless I receive requests to see the rest of the work. I do not want to post anything that the community does not want to read and will respect a lack of desire to read more along this line. Raven

**CHAPTER 1**

**DARK ANNIVERSARIES**

Diana Bennett sat in the darkened loft. She was glad the case she had been working on was finished ... glad that no one else had been hurt before they had been able to put the culprit behind bars. But the pace had been grueling and she was tired. She had come home, taken a long hot shower and wrapped her athletic body in a huge terrycloth bathrobe.

She sat in the dim light that came through the raised blinds of the clerestory windows. Her long red hair was loose. She periodically ran a brush through it as it dried naturally. It was so long and thick that it would take a considerable amount of time to dry this way, but she was too tired to hold a hairdryer. Besides, there was no hurry. She had all night and all day tomorrow.

Her dark blue eyes snapped up to the windows when she heard a tapping coming from her roof. She sighed deeply, not really wanting to see her visitor tonight. She looked up and saw Vincent's massive form blocking an entire window as he knelt down to peer into the loft. The leonine features she had come to love over the past several months were hidden in the shadows but she knew his sharp eyes were watching her as she remained motionless on the couch for a long time.

She could sense the silent plea of his desire to see her tonight just as she knew that he could sense her reluctance to approach him.

Having a heightened empathic ability was a great asset to her job as a police investigator. With that, her training and her own finely honed intuition, she was one of the best behavioral criminologists on the East Coast. But that ability had not translated well into her personal life. In the past, she had trouble dealing with the men in her life because of her ability to sense their emotions. And with someone like Vincent, who had the same characteristic, the two-way link was sometimes too much to handle.

He tapped on the window again, his impatience evident both in the feelings she sensed from him and the more aggressive rapping on the glass. She continued to sit almost another full minute before she rose with a weary sigh. She was not looking forward to this encounter.

Vincent had watched Diana for quite a while before he first tapped on her window. As he knelt watching her, he had been assaulted by her stormy mood tonight and reflected on how he had come to be on Diana's roof.

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Vincent had fallen deeply in love with Catherine Chandler the moment he found her in Central Park. She had been attacked, her face brutally slashed, bleeding to death. He had saved her life. Between them had been a connection so strong that he could feel every one of Catherine's emotions as they coursed through her.

It was that ability that had enabled him to find her any time her investigative work with the District Attorney's office brought her into danger. It was that curse that had driven him over and over to kill to save her life.

For over two years, the duality of Vincent's human soul incased in an animalistic body had warred between being Catherine's lover or her protector. His huge strength and claw-like hands had time-after-time been the part of him that Catherine had needed to survive. But his overwhelming desire had been to be her lover. That was a role he had been afraid to take – because of his past – because of his physical body – maybe because he felt Catherine had seen him kill once too often to be able to trust him completely, despite her statements to the contrary.

Finally the strain on Vincent's personality had been too great and the dark nature of his beast side overrode the gentleness of his human half. While he was lost in that darkness, Catherine had come to him. Without his knowledge, she had taken the initiative and become his lover. And it was that total commitment to him that had saved him.

But, from that moment on, his connection to her had been severed.

Because of the lost bond, he had not been able to find her and rescue her when she had been kidnapped. She was held captive until she had delivered their child into the hands of an evil man who wanted to take the unique child and turn him into a killing machine. Vincent had finally found Catherine, dying. She had told him that they had been lovers and that they had a son. The child had been taken from her and she had been given a lethal dose of drugs. Vincent had thought his world was over.

Then Diana had started investigating Catherine's death. She had tracked down a grief-filled, vengeful Vincent who wanted no part of the lovely red-haired policewoman. But as Diana had helped him locate his son, she had also given him a reason to continue living. For Jacob's Naming Ceremony, on an impulse, Vincent had invited Diana to come Below. He had proudly shown off his magical world that lay hidden below the City of New York.

Slowly, carefully, the two had become friends. As the healing had taken place, more and more of his empathic ability had returned. The return of his empathic sense that been welcomed since he had lived with it all of his life. And, he had found over the months, when he was around Diana their abilities seemed to magnify each other. Although he never expected to have the total tie with anyone as he had had with Catherine, he had become comfortable with his ability to echo Diana's feelings.

But tonight was different. Tonight she was not welcoming. Tonight she had suddenly put up barriers and felt unapproachable as she finally came onto the roof.

He cocked his head and looked at her with a question in his ice-blue eyes.

"You do not want me here tonight?"

She sighed and looked out at the city as they stood by the half-wall that made up one side of the rooftop she had claimed as a balcony.

"Tonight I don't want anyone," she answered after a pause.

He stared at her for some time before he replied, "But especially me."

She sighed and looked up at him. He seemed like a mythical creature come to life in the center of New York. Every time she looked at him, his features, his bearing, his massive presence – both his personality and his physicality – caused her to catch her breath in wonder. Even when he was brooding as he had been in recent days, he was the most important single facet of her life. But when he was brooding his darkness seemed to batter her own spirit.

"I'm just tired," she answered lamely.

They both turned back to look out at the city. They were silent for a long time.

"Perhaps ... I should ... go," he suggested.

She looked up at him. He was surprised to see that the movement sent a tear sliding down her cheek. Gently he brushed his forefinger across her cheek and removed it.

"What has made you so sad, Diana?" he asked.

She shook her head and looked down again, refusing to answer him. There was a soft rustle in the stillness. When she looked up, he was gone.

V D V D V D V D V D V D*

For two weeks, Vincent did not visit Diana and she did not seek out his presence. She knew he was staying away because it was what she wanted, but that did not make his absence easier to accept. Next week would be the first anniversary of Catherine's death. It would also be his son Jacob's first birthday.

A delegation from Below had come to visit Diana earlier in the day. Rebecca and Olivia had grown up with Vincent and considered him to be a brother. Jamie had come with them. She was younger but also thought of herself as his kid sister.

Diana had been pleasantly surprised to find all three of them in the elevator when it had made its way to her loft apartment. She had quickly invited them in for tea. After several minutes of aimless chatter, Olivia put her tea cup down on the coffee table.

"Diana, you know we haven't just come to chit-chat," she started.

Diana smiled. "You're more than welcome, but I did figure you had a purpose."

"It's Vincent," Rebecca stated.

"And Jacob," Jamie added.

"Is something wrong?" Diana asked with concern.

"Vincent is becoming so ..." Rebecca looked to Olivia.

"Depressed, I guess," Olivia finished. "The closer it gets to ... you know."

Diana nodded. "Yes, I know."

"Anyway, we want to have a big first birthday party for Jacob," Olivia continued. "But Vincent won't even discuss it."

"Has he ..." Rebecca looked hesitant. "Has he spoken to you about ... The Day?"

Diana regarded the three women for a few moments and then sighed. "I've ... kind of ... kept myself away from Vincent the last few days. I'm having trouble on my case and ... being around him ..." She shrugged.

"We don't know what to do about the party," Jamie stated.

"I think you should go ahead and have it," Diana told them. "Vincent will probably be happy to let you have Jacob for the evening."

"You don't think he'll be upset if we have a party on the day ... when Catherine ..." Tears welled in Jamie's eyes.

Rebecca patted her back. "I can't believe Vincent would want Jacob to suffer for something he can't control. It's not his fault his mother died the same day he was born."

Olivia nodded in agreement.

The subject was changed to more lighthearted happenings. They finished their tea and then the three women told Diana goodbye and left.

Now Diana stood on her roof, remembering the conversation. It was difficult for her. For many months she had felt that she and Vincent had been growing closer and closer. His hand had begun to linger on her back when he was escorting her around the tunnels. He would stand beside her on the roof, his arm protectively around her. He would even enter her loft so they could sit and talk late into the night.

Gradually, she had realized she had gone from just being attracted to him to being hopelessly in love with him. And now he was retreating back into the grief and despair of a year ago. She didn't know if she was up to competing with a dead paragon again. She didn't know if she was strong enough to pull Vincent from the depths of his darkness again. She wasn't even sure that Vincent realized she was more than a friend ... or would be if he only asked.

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Vincent stood in the shadows, watching Diana as she looked out at the city. It was only when he realized she had tears streaming noiselessly down her cheek that he approached her.

"Diana, it pains me to see you like this. Will you allow me to share your distress?"

She looked up into his face. He saw only the openness of possibilities, then her eyes clouded over and she turned her head away.

Her shoulders shook as her sobbing became audible. Vincent had never seen Diana breakdown like this. He was afraid to approach her but knew he could not leave her as she was. Slowly he moved closer, careful not to touch her, but close enough that the slightest movement would give her the comfort of his arms.

"Tell me about Catherine," she said after quite some time.

The request surprised him.

"Your investigation probably taught you more about Catherine than I myself know," he told her.

There was a strange delay as she stared at Vincent for a long moment.

Finally she said, "Until the minute I saw your face, I thought I knew everything there was to know about Catherine Chandler. Oh, I knew there was this mysterious Vincent that somehow caused her to keep secrets from the people she would've otherwise shared her romance with. But as far as the person ... her motivations ... her dreams and beliefs ..." She shook her head. "I would have bet everything I owned that I _knew _Catherine Chandler."

She had looked out at the city as she talked. Now she turned her tear-streaked face toward him. The pain in her eyes caused him actual physical discomfort.

"Until I saw your face." She turned away again. "In that instant, I knew I had all the answers to all the questions I'd been asking myself ... about you ... about Catherine ... about the investigation."

Her sobbing became harder. When she whispered the next words, Vincent could barely hear them.

"And all the answers to all my own dreams."

Vincent was shocked to silence. He listened to her soft crying unable to make himself move. After several moments, Diana sighed deeply and seemed to have more control of herself.

"What are you thinking, Diana?" he asked watching her. "Can you tell me what is causing you such turmoil? Will you tell me what's in your heart?"

She looked up at him and smiled sadly, like a loving parent about to disappoint a child.

"What do you have to barter for my soul, Vincent? Yours is buried with Catherine."

Without another word she turned and went back into her loft.

It was a long time before Vincent realized she was gone. Twice he turned to leave, but finally, he walked over to the door that led to the loft and opened it.

Diana was sitting on the couch, her knees pulled up, her chin resting on them. He dropped to one knee in front of her.

"What would you know of my life with Catherine?" he asked.

There was no answer for a long time.

Finally she asked, "Why does her memory make you feel guilty when you're drawn closer to me?"

He cocked his head and looked at her. "I don't know what you mean."

A look of resignation settled on her face.

"Diana," he pleaded, "I really do not understand what you mean."

She studied him for a moment.

Avoiding his eyes, she spoke, "About three weeks ago, you were on my roof. I was stuck on my case. There'd been another child kidnapped. I was really upset. You put your arms around me. You let me lean on your strength. But when I opened myself empathically to you for comfort, all I could feel around you was guilt. It made me ashamed that I needed your support."

Tears pricked his eyes.

Softly he said, "All my life I was led to believe that I could never have a ... normal ... a physical ... relationship with a ... human woman ..."

"Human!" she blazed as she spun to him. "How dare you talk as if you are anything less than human. How dare you let anyone else do it. You are the most human being I have ever known."

He smiled tenderly at her fierce defense of him.

"A woman," he corrected. "With Catherine, I refused to accept the fact that she and I could share a full life. It wasn't until she was dying in my arms that I learned we had ever made love."

Diana reached out to touch one of his hands, but stopped. Slowly she settled her arm back around her legs. "You didn't know?"

He shook his head. "She came to me while I was consumed by darkness. I would've never dared touch her if I'd been in control. It took me being completely submerged in the darkness before I would allow her to have a physical relationship with me."

He held one of his hands out, palm up, inviting her to hold it. She didn't.

"I don't know what would've happened had she lived," he admitted softly.

He lowered his hand and rose to his feet. He paced back and forth in front of her. After several passes, he stopped and looked down at her.

"It took her our whole relationship to convince me that a physical liaison was possible. I denied her that ... our entire time together. How can I give that to another?"

She rose slowly, reached out and barely touched his cheek with her fingertips. "From my first lover I learned tenderness. From another, humor. From a third, devotion. Should I keep those parts of love from my next lover because he wasn't the one who taught them to me?"

Vincent stared at her, unable to answer her question.

Diana went back up to the roof. Vincent rushed after her. He turned her around and looked at her with a dazed expression. His massive hand tenderly cupped the back of her head and drew her tightly against his chest. His arms cradled her as if she were made of the most delicate crystal. She could sense an unfamiliar flood of tenderness from him. For a long time, she simply allowed herself to be held, drinking in the luxury of his affection. Gradually she opened up her own emotions so he could feel her acknowledgement and appreciation of his action.

Finally, she leaned back so she could see his face.

"I don't understand," she confessed. "Why now?"

"Because now ... I realized that ... your words are true," he told her. "We can't withhold what we know of love from each other. I can't say what will happen. I don't know that I'll be able to open my life to you as you deserve. But I do wish to try."

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Diana had decorated the roof with some large pillows that could be left outside on the balcony. She and Vincent settled on them. She reclined in the shelter of his arms and allowed him to hold her long into the night. She felt him stir as the sky began to lighten slightly, announcing the approach of dawn.

He stroked her cheek and she lifted her face. He looked her in the eye and she smiled gently.

"I have to leave," he told her.

"I know."

"Diana, I don't know where our new relationship will lead."

"That's what makes new beginnings so wonderful. What would be the fun of knowing the ending before you start?"

"You are amazing. I've never known someone who embraces life so enthusiastically and yet gives their life to all that is dark."

She shook her head. "Not what's dark ... what can be rescued from the darkness."

He grinned. "That explains why you've worked so hard on saving me."

She looked at him, suddenly very soberly. "That doesn't begin to touch why I wanted to make sure you were rescued from the darkness ... forever."

Tenderly he pulled her into a comforting hug.

"You're working on a case?" he asked as he released her, rose to his feet and pulled her up beside him.

"Yes, a new one."

"I'll come to you tomorrow night ... before you get too involved."

She smiled slightly as she recognized he had not asked, but had told her.

"I'll see you then."

V D V D V D V D V D V D

One week later, Vincent sat looking at the sky as it was reflected in the Mirror Pool. He had the illusion of being out-of-doors through the mirror image. He watched as the day progressed from dawn to mid-day to late afternoon.

One year ago tonight ...

He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. His heart felt as if it were being freshly torn from his chest. His soul felt as if it were being ripped to shreds.

Everyone had been trying for days to divert his attention with the plans for Jacob's birthday party. Now it had arrived. This evening would be the one year anniversary of the greatest joy he had ever known – the birth of his son. This evening would be the one year anniversary of the greatest sorrow he hoped he would ever have to endure – Catherine's death.

With a deep sobbing sigh, he raised his head to look again into the Mirror Pool. Silently he prayed that nothing else in his life would ever cause the pain of watching Catherine die in his arms – that there would never be an emptiness greater than feeling her soul leave his presence.

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Diana arrived Below burdened with more than she could carry. She had been forced to make two trips from her loft. She now stood Below, signaling on the pipes, hoping someone would be able to come and help her.

Finally, Jamie and Mouse approached.

"Hi," she greeted them with a smile.

"Hello," they both muttered, almost as if they were afraid to talk to her.

"I need some help getting all this stuff to the Great Hall," she pointed to her packages.

Without a word, Mouse picked up everything he could carry and headed off. Jamie gave Diana a nervous smile and picked up half of what was left.

"Vincent is ... ah ... busy," Jamie offered an explanation as to why Vincent had not come to assist Diana.

"I know what Vincent is doing," Diana answered softly but made no further comment.

Jamie and Diana arrived in the Great Hall during the midst of the preparations for Jacob's first birthday party. The son of the prince of this world was going to be royally spoiled tonight, Diana thought to herself, a soft smile playing on her face.

She made sure that everything food related was conveyed to William. The decorations she had brought were given to Rebecca and Mary. Diana had not just bought what was needed for tonight. She had cleaned out as much of a party store as she felt she could afford. The appreciative laughter assured her that her gifts would have many uses in the future as other occasions were celebrated Below.

"I need to go see Father," Diana told them after a time.

She knew that party-planning was not a skill of hers so she left it to the tunnel women who seemed to have a knack for turning the most mundane object into a beautiful decoration. She caught the looks that the women exchanged and could sense their nervousness as they watched her go.

Father was in his chamber, looking for a book he wanted to read from tonight.

"Hi, Father," Diana greeted him happily.

She hurried to a make-shift playpen and swept Jacob up into her arms.

"And how's my Birthday Guy?" she asked smothering Jacob's cubby cheeks with kisses.

The baby laughed and gave back sloppy baby kisses that soon had her cheeks slightly slimy. She laughed and put him back, using her hands to remove the worse of the slobbers.

"Hello, Diana," Father greeted her warmly as he came over beside her. "I wasn't sure you'd be able to get down here so early."

They sat in chairs beside the table. With a gesture of invitation from Father and a nod of acceptance from Diana, he poured tea for them.

"How's everything going?" she asked.

Father looked at her nervously. She sighed deeply.

"Not you, too," she said, disappointment in her voice.

He shook his head, not understanding.

"Does everyone really think I'm going to be angry because Vincent is mourning for Catherine?"

Father gave her a tender smile. "I think everyone is concerned about your reaction to Vincent spoiling Jacob's birthday party."

She closed her eyes, shook her head and sighed. She opened her eyes again and stared at Father.

"Is he in the Chamber of the Waterfalls?"

"No ... the ..."

"Mirror Pool, she interrupted. "Of course. How else could he track the time without seeing the sky?"

She put her teacup down, stood up and started toward the doorway.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Diana."

She turned back and smiled lovingly at him. "I do."

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Vincent reached a hand out to her as he sensed her approach. She sat beside him and he turned tortured eyes to look at her.

"Oh, Vincent," she sighed, her heart heavy with compassion.

She gathered the massive form into her arms as if he were no bigger than Jacob. She felt him tremble as he began to sob again. She stroked the disarray of his golden mane and allowed him to continue for some time. Finally he sat up and looked at her.

"Have you come to chastise me, too?" he asked plaintively.

He saw the love filling her eyes and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly.

"Thank you," he told her.

He took her hand in his and held it tightly as he looked back at the pool.

"Almost sunset," he stated flatly.

"Yes," she agreed. "Are you going to be able to come to the Great Hall?"

He sighed heavily. "Do I have a choice?"

There was a pause.

"Yes," she answered with the confidence and devotion that had deepened between them in the past week. "I think you are entitled to one anniversary of mourning. Jacob's too young to understand if you're missing from his party. You will never again be able to indulge your grief on this day. From now on it will have to be shifted to accommodate Jacob's needs."

She disentangled her hand and stood up.

"Would you like me to come back after I put Jacob to bed?"

She stood a long time waiting for an answer and then turned to leave.

"Yes," he whispered as she reached the entrance.

Suddenly their erratically-developing empathic link shot between them like a bolt of lightening. Her love and acceptance washed over him like a gentle shower. The rawness of his grief no longer seemed new. It now settled on him with the distance of the year that had passed.

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Everyone seemed to keep a wary eye toward Diana as the evening progressed. She caught whispering that stopped as she approached various groups of people throughout the course of the evening. She came up to Peter Alcott and gave the doctor a weary smile.

"Are you waiting for the explosion, too?" she asked.

He gave her a sad smile. "No. I think you have an old soul and understand that Vincent needs this night. I wish I could take it, too."

She regarded Peter a moment. "You delivered Catherine – knew her literally all of her life, didn't you?" she remembered a conversation she had had with Vincent about Father's oldest friend.

A single tear welled at the corner of one eye as he nodded. She placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry."

He nodded his appreciation.

"Did Vincent say you're the executor of her will?" she continued.

Peter released a deep, cleansing sigh and his face became just a little less grim. "Yes. She wanted to make sure that if anything happened to her that the community was protected."

Diana nodded. "I recently worked on a case. There was a doctor who was killing his patients. In order to pay for his attorneys, the equipment in his clinic is being auctioned." She smiled conspiratorially. "Think the Hospital Chamber could stand some updates?"

Peter suddenly smiled broadly. "Yes!"

"I didn't want to say anything to anyone Below until we found out what they have and how much it goes for. I can messenger an auction catalog to you as soon as I go back Above. The auction's on a Saturday in two weeks."

They made plans to talk again in a few days and then Diana moved back to where Jacob played with Olivia's toddler, Luke. The two boys were obviously getting tired.

"I think it's about bedtime," Diana told Olivia, who nodded in agreement.

Both women reached out for the children.

"Would you like to leave Jacob with us tonight?" Olivia asked softly.

Diana turned to her.

"I figure you'll have your hands full with Vincent," Olivia explained.

Diana smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that'd help."

It took several minutes to wish goodnight to everyone, find the new toy that Jacob would not leave behind and make their way to the exit. The two women, who had become good friends over the past several months, talked about everyday things as they made their way slowly through the tunnels.

Suddenly Jacob raised his head from where it had been resting on Diana's shoulder.

"Da!"

"Yes, Daddy, coming," she assured him.

Olivia looked at her in amazement. "Do you share a bond like he had with Catherine?"

Diana shook her head. "No ... nothing that strong. Although I think the bond between Jacob and his father is going to be very similar as he grows older. Vincent and I can only sense each other when we're close to each other ... he's just right up here a couple of turns."

Even as she explained they rounded another bend in the tunnels and saw Vincent striding toward them, his long strides making his dark floor-length cloak swing majestically. Vincent greeted them and took Jacob in his arms. After giving his son a hug and a kiss, he turned to Olivia.

"Luke?" Vincent asked.

The other youngster turned and held out his arms. Vincent took Luke out of his mother's arms and put him up against the shoulder opposite Jacob.

"You have both been working very hard all day and are tired," he explained as he turned and headed toward Olivia's chamber.

The two women exchanged smiles and followed.

"I guess they were getting a little heavy," Olivia acknowledged.

Diana chuckled in agreement.

By the time they had reached Olivia's chamber, both boys had fallen asleep on Vincent's shoulders. Olivia hurried ahead and turned down Luke's little bed and then took the sleeping child carefully so she didn't wake him up. She put him on the far side of the bed.

"There's room for Jacob," she said turning to face Vincent.

Vincent paused.

"I'd already made arrangements to leave him here," Diana informed him. "I think it'd be a good idea. We can get him for breakfast in the morning."

Vincent did not miss her use of the plural pronoun. With a slight nod, he settled his son next to Olivia's.

"Thank you," he told her softly.

Olivia gave him a hug. He closed his arms around her and held her tightly for a moment.

"I love you, Vincent," she said as they released each other. "Goodnight, Diana." She hugged Diana also, whispering in her ear, "Take care of him."

With a smile, Diana released Olivia and turned to leave the chamber.

Vincent followed slowly. In the tunnel, Diana paused long enough for him to catch up with her.

"Do you want to go Above?" she asked.

He paused.

"I can go get my car," she offered.

He stared at her for a long moment before nodding.

V D V D V D V D V D V D

Diana pulled the car into the cemetery. She stopped in the shadow cast by a large hedge and turned off the engine. She shut off the dome light before opening the door. Carefully checking the area, she moved to the passenger's side door and motioned for Vincent to get out. She leaned against the car and watched him as he started toward Catherine's grave. He stopped and turned back to her. Slowly he reached a hand out to her.

"Will you come with me?" he asked.

She straightened and looked at him in surprise. "Of course I will, if you want me to."

Hand-in-hand they walked over to Catherine Chandler's gravesite. Vincent looked in amazement. A huge boutique of white and red roses was on the grave. He turned to Diana.

"Where did they ...?"

The answer to his question was in Diana's eyes. He smiled gently. She gave an embarrassed shrugged.

"I ... knew you'd want to come here tonight ... and just thought ..."

He gave her hand a squeeze and then released it to kneel beside the grave.

"Catherine, first, I would have you know that Jacob is beautiful and well and happy. A truly amazing woman is helping me to raise him to be the son you would want."

Diana felt tears sting her eyes. She bit her lip and turned her head away quickly. She took a couple of steps away, feeling a bit embarrassed listening to what he was saying to Catherine, sure that he had forgotten she was standing so close.

She turned to watch him. After some time, she saw his shoulders slump forward. At the same time she felt his emotions reach out to her. She crossed to stand behind him and placed her hands on his shoulders. She squeezed his shoulders in reassurance. One of his hands reached up to cover one of hers.

"You have brought me great comfort this day," he told her still looking at the headstone.

The hand not being held began to stroke his hair.

"I'm glad I was able to help."

"Everyone else thought I should ignore this day."

"No, Vincent," she corrected gently. "They just didn't want this day to be an annual day of mourning. They want you to recognize the miracle of Jacob's birth."

Still holding her hand, he stood up and turned to face her.

"But you understood."

She shrugged and looked down. He watched her for a long moment.

"You know this grief," he said finally.

When she did not respond, he placed the thumb and index finger of his free hand on her chin and tilted her face up until he could see the pain in her eyes.

"Does it go away?" he asked hopefully.

She looked at him evenly and then shook her head. He closed his eyes as if a new wave of pain had washed over him. She laid the palm of her hand on his cheek and he opened his eyes.

"It never goes away but ... in time ... it does become easier to bear."

He nodded his understanding.

"You've never told me about him," Vincent commented.

"You've never been ready to hear."

"Tell me now."

With a sigh, she moved away from him slightly and sat on a bench a short distance away.

"His name was Brian," she said softly. "We were in the police academy together and got engaged the day we graduated."

Vincent walked over to stand beside her. "You were married?"

She looked up and shook her head. "He was killed two weeks before the wedding." A few tears rolled down her cheeks. "Within six weeks, his death was just one more random cop killing. That was when I took a leave of absence and started to work the case. It ended up being a jealous, old girlfriend of his ... someone I didn't even know about." She gave him a slight smile. "I went back to school for behavioral criminology and started my new career."

He took hold of her shoulders and lifted her to her feet. He enfolded her in his arms. She slid her arms around his waist and they clung to each other drawing strength and comfort from each other.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

V D V D V D V D V D V D

"October 10, 1989 3:30 a.m. ... I found Vincent," Diana read from the computer screen.

She was reviewing the journal entry she had made one year ago. The light from the monitor reflected eerily off of her ivory porcelain skin, highlighting her red hair and making her dark blue eyes look black.

"I found Vincent."

What an understatement. It was like saying I found the secret to the universe.

"I found Vincent."

She couldn't remember, but she was pretty sure that until the night she had found him, she had not expected him to change her world.

"I found Vincent."

She read those three words yet again. She couldn't believe that the laws of physics could still work any more. Her life had been that transformed. Her perception of everything had been that altered.

"I found Vincent."

Suddenly she realized that the knife-like pain slicing through her head, from her right temple to her left was coinciding with the flashes of the cursor on the screen. She pushed the button and the screen went black. Why could she still see those words?

"I found Vincent," seemed to blaze on the dead monitor.

With a sigh she rose from the computer. There were no lights on in the loft apartment. But it was not the lack of light that made her feel as if darkness was pressing in on her.

Vincent and Catherine had celebrated the night he had found her, slashed and bleeding in Central Park. They marked the anniversary every year. One year ago tonight, Diana had found Vincent. The discovery had transformed her world. But Vincent had not responded to her invitation to come for dinner. It would appear that their meeting did not have the importance to him that it did to her.

Once again she was reminded that she would probably never be more than a stopgap to his grief for Catherine. She wondered if he would ever see her ... know her ... love her ... as Diana – not as the woman who had helped him find Jacob and who had killed Catherine's murderer.

She needed some fresh air. Just enough light filtered through the balloon blinds that covered the clerestory windows to allow her to navigate around the living area. She went into the sleeping area, grabbed her extra-large down-filled duvet and a couple of pillows. Slowly she made her way up the stairs that led to her balcony area on the roof.

Using the roof pillows and her bed pillows, Diana settled herself to watch the stars. She never remembered falling asleep.

V D V D V D V D V D V D

One year ago tonight, Elliot Burch had died. Vincent sighed as that thought crossed his mind. Yet another friend he had lost to Gabriel. Yet another connection to Catherine that had been severed.

Vincent sat beside the Mirror Pool. Jacob was on a blanket, sleeping peacefully beside his father. Despite their growing connection, the baby was not disturbed by Vincent's restlessness tonight. In fact, as Vincent watched the child sleep, some of his own thoughts became more serene.

His leonine features relaxed. He had discarded his black hooded cape as he sat in the chamber that clearly showed the starry sky in the shallow reflecting pool due to a freak of light and an unknown fissure in the rock.

He had planned to visit Diana later this night. He knew that by not answering her invitation to dinner that he would have hurt her feelings. His feelings for Diana were still so confusing. The times he was apart from her, he missed her presence. The times he was with her, he often felt as if he were cheating on Catherine. A faint smile curled his lip. He wondered what Father's psychoanalysis would make of that.

Perhaps it was the reminiscence of Elliott Burch and the knowledge of how brief life could be, but suddenly Vincent had a desire to see Diana at once. With infinite tenderness, his claw-like hands picked up the sleeping baby. He carried his son to the nursery. He knew that there would be someone there all night, watching the smaller tunnel children who did not have parents of their own. He also knew that Jacob loved being with the other children so Vincent never hesitated to leave him in the warmth and love of the small nursery.

V D V D V D V D V D V D*

Diana lay wrapped comfortably in the duvet from her bed. She was propped up on her pillows, staring up at the stars. She knew she had slept but didn't know or care how late it was.

One year ago tonight, she had found him. He had been consumed with the grief from the death of Catherine, the despair over losing his son and the overwhelming obsession to find and punish Gabriel. Yes, he had come into her life night one year ago, but it was actually some time later when his and Diana's lives had started to merge. Maybe that was why Vincent had not wanted to commemorate this night.

The large, dark shadow alerted her to his presence. He came to settle quietly beside her. He sat with one knee up and his hands interlocked around it. She shifted so her head was leaning against his upper arm, glad he had come.

"You didn't know I was coming," he commented, knowing her empathic connection to him was blocked tonight.

"I have a headache."

They were silent a long time.

"It was one year ago tonight that you found me," he stated.

A short pause and then she added, "One year ago I found your body in the cemetery. It was a few weeks later before I found you."

There was a soft, throaty sound and she knew he was smiling in acknowledgement.

"There wasn't much of me left at that time," he agreed.

Another momentary pause and then she said, "I don't know. There was enough of you to pretty well wreck my apartment over the next three days."

Now he chuckled. She wrapped her arms around the arm she was using as a pillow and snuggled closer to him. She felt him kiss the top of her head.

"Just be glad it was only a mattress and some wood," he added. "When I did something similar in Catherine's apartment there was glass, brass and crystal everywhere. I hate to think what that cost her to replace."

"Not too much crystal in my place," she agreed.

They were silent for a few more minutes and then he moved to stand up. She released her hold on him. She watched as he rose and walked back into the shadows. When he returned, he was carrying a box about one foot cube.

"Perhaps we need to remedy that," he told her as he sat beside her again.

She looked at him, her head cocked and her eyes full of curiosity.

"Do you know about Catherine's crystal necklace?" he asked.

She looked a bit surprised by the change in direction but tried to follow what he was saying. She nodded.

"I know that Joe said something about it being the only piece of jewelry he knew for sure that was missing. I never found out where it came from but ..." Her look intensified. "You gave it to her. You have it."

"On the first anniversary of the night I found her, I gave it to her. It was a piece of my world that she could keep in hers. The way the light refracted through the crystal was to symbolize how she had allowed her life to become new and bright after the gloom caused by her attack."

He handed the box to her.

"Open it," he told her.

She hesitated just a moment, a sudden feeling of trepidation stealing over her. The past year had shown her that trying to live up to the memory of Catherine had its downfalls. While she was sure Catherine had been a wonderful person, Diana had also discovered that all of Catherine's faults had been forgotten by the tunnel dwellers who had loved her – especially one very large, strong tunnel dweller.

He laid his hand on top of one of the hands that held the box. "Diana, I'm not trying to mold you into another Catherine."

She gave him an embarrassed smiled and then opened the box. She removed an open metal frame structure shaped like a pyramid with a 10 inch square base. From the apex of the figure, hanging down into the center of the miniature structure was a crystal. It was an irregular polished sphere, tinted slightly blue. The light of the night sky flashed and reflected through it.

"It's ... it's beautiful," she gasped. She turned an amazed face to Vincent. "It's wonderful!"

He smiled. "I'm glad you like it. Mouse made the pyramid for me. The crystal is from the same cavern as Catherine's necklace." He gave that little cock of his head. "I don't picture you wearing jewelry. I thought you'd prefer something like this."

Balancing it in one hand, she threw her other arm around his neck and hugged him. She turned to look at it again. She moved it slightly so the light reflected off the various aspects of the crystal.

"If I ever make you think that I don't appreciate you and all you have brought into my world, look at this crystal and know ..." He reached out and stroked her hair. "_Know_, Diana, that I recognize the light that you represent in my life."

Carefully she sat the structure on the floor next to her and then turned to face him.

"This is the most thoughtful gift I've ever been given. I know that you've said you aren't sure where our relationship'll lead us. No matter what happens, I want you to know that I will treasure this as long as I live."

Tenderly he drew her into his arms and held her tightly against him.

"As I treasure you," he whispered into her hair.

The sky was showing its pre-dawn colors before they moved again.

V D V D V D V D V D V D*

Diana looked up at the gentle tap on her window. She gave a slight wave of her hand and continued staring at the board. It was almost an hour later that she looked over her shoulder.

"Oh," she said sounding surprised at seeing Vincent sitting on her couch, "I didn't hear you come in."

He smiled. "You were very absorbed."

She grinned. "Yeah, I probably was. It's a kidnapping and it's going to be a dead body before it's over with and no matter how hard I stare at it, it's not going to change."

With a sigh she sank down beside him. Tentatively he put his arm around her. She leaned against him easily for several minutes. Then she took a deep breath and stood up again.

"Did you want something?" she asked going back to her work area.

"Only to see you," he told her.

There was a long silence – she was lost in her thoughts again. Finally he stood up and put his cloak on. He walked in front of her to get her attention.

"I'll leave you to your work," he told her with dry humor evident in his voice.

She gave him a bit of an embarrassed smile. "I'll be finished in a couple of days. I'll invite you up for dinner."

V D V D V D V D V D V D*

It was actually the morning of the fourth day that she sent a message as she drank her second cup of coffee.

"Vincent – tonight – 8:00 – dinner."

She spent the day closing down the case she had been working on, cleaning up the apartment, shopping for groceries and preparing for the evening. As it got later in the day, she took a leisurely shower, started dinner, made sure there were candles everywhere she wanted them and that the lighter worked. She didn't put on a lot of make-up ... just a little blusher and some lipstick then she slipped on a floor-length sheath of rust satin.

She sat down with a glass of wine and thought about a year ago – when she felt her relationship with Vincent had truly began.

It had actually started many weeks after she had first found him – once Jacob was safely Below.

She had noticed the first indication of a change in how Vincent regarded her when Gregory had committed suicide in the Serpentine. Diana had struggled to hold onto Gregory, pleading with the delusional young man to give her his other hand so she could save him.

Suddenly, Vincent had been there. His hands had taken hold of her waist to make sure she was safe, giving her the support to focus completely on her goal. As Gregory plummeted silently into the Abyss, Vincent pulled Diana back from the edge, one hand still on her waist, one hand protectively on her shoulder. She had leaned back against him. She had shivered as reaction had set in. It was the first time Vincent's strong arms had surrounded her in shielding strength and reassurance.

He had sat holding her for quite a long time before helping her to her feet. He had continued to hold her hand as they had walked to Father's chamber.

But it was a few days later that she realized that Vincent wanted her in his life as much as she wanted to be there. With a loving smile she recalled the private time they had shared that evening in Vincent's chamber – one year ago tonight. She had been looking at Jacob. Vincent had been telling her about how the sound of Jacob's cry was able to dispel the nightmare his life had become in the previous year. Then Vincent had asked Diana why she had helped him so much. Her confession of how the possibility of Vincent made anything else seem possible had embarrassed Vincent slightly. Their next words were burned into her very soul.

Vincent had said, "Jacob was not my only blessing."

She had replied, "You're thinking of Catherine."

His reply of "Always," made her wonder if he would ever recover from his grief. And then he had added softly, "And I'm thinking of you."

He had hesitantly looked up at her, shyly using the bangs of his magnificent amber mane to partially shield his eyes as he tried to judge her reaction.

She had not been able to maintain complete eye contact as she confessed how uncertain she was of her place in his world. Her eyes had darted around the room, finally coming back to his as she stated, "I don't know where I'm going to be tomorrow ..."

His voice had been like a velvet blanket, covering her in possibilities. "Tomorrow will come, Diana. We can only live each day as it comes to us ... with its pains and joys ... and all of its gifts."

His eyes had held hers and she could hear his mind declaring her to be one of those gifts. She had been too unsure of herself to continue. She had requested to hold Jacob and, that night, he had allowed her to divert the conversation away from their relationship.

V D V D V D V D V D V D*

She suddenly realized it was almost eight o'clock. She was just lighting the candles when she heard Vincent open the upper door and start down the stairs. She felt a little self-conscious as she waited for him.

He smiled his appreciation as he saw her standing beside the breakfast table that was set for dinner this evening.

"You look very lovely," he told her.

She smiled shyly. "I thought," she said with a little jerk of her head, "that you should know that I do own more than jeans and sweat suits."

He laughed softly and took the chair she indicated.

Dinner was a relaxing affair. Each told the other of what they had been doing for the last few days. Vincent caught Diana up on Jacob's latest developments.

"I'm going to have to come down and see him soon," she said, "or he won't remember me."

"You could come tonight," he said as he held her chair for her to arise from the table.

She turned to him with a smile but shook her head. "Tonight I just want to be with you."

There was soft music playing and Vincent held out his arms in invitation. She went easily into them and he waltzed her lightly around the small clear space beside her sitting area.

When the song ended, she walked over to the kitchen island and picked up a small box.

"I'd like you to have this," she told him.

Curious, he crossed to her. She handed him the box and he opened it. Inside was a beautiful gold ring with a Celtic design, obviously very old.

"This ring belonged to my father," she told him. "My mother gave it to him. It had belonged to her father before that and my grandmother had given it to him. When Mother gave me the ring, she told me to give it to the man I love."

"Diana, I cannot accept this," he said with some hesitation.

She put her fingertips on his lips and smiled softly.

"We acknowledged the anniversary of Catherine's passing and the anniversary of the night I found you. But one year ago tonight ... in your chamber ... I don't know if you remember what you said to me but ..."

"I _do_ remember," he assured her softly.

She smiled and nodded faintly.

"This ring had been passed down to my grandmother. She gave the ring to my grandfather on their wedding day. They had known each other three days. My mother gave this to my father the first time she saw him holding my oldest brother – the moment she realized he was the only man she would ever love. She told me that as long as I give the ring to the man that I love, no matter who is he, no matter if we were destined to be together in this life or not, that no harm would befall my love."

"I do not deserve this," he protested.

"That's not for you to decide," she answered.

She picked up a long gold chain that had been lying beside the box. Deftly she slipped the ring on the chain, closed the chain's fastener and raised her hands over his head. She paused a moment and looked into his eyes. He smiled and she slipped the chain down around his neck. As the ring lay on his chest, she patted it lovingly.

"Maybe someday you'll feel comfortable enough to wear this on your hand. For now, I want to celebrate what happened one year ago tonight by giving this to you."

He suddenly stood completely still, looking at her very intently. Slowly he reached out and took hold of her shoulders.

"When," he asked softly, "did I fall in love with you?"

She gave a shaky, little sigh, glanced away and then looked back at his face. "I wasn't sure you had," she told him truthful.

"Nor was I ... until this moment." He looked at her intently. "Diana, I hadn't realized how important you've become to me. If I lost you, my world would never be the same."

She glanced away again, breathing a little faster than normal. Slowly she raised her eyes.

"I've been in love with you since that first day we spent together. I truly thought you'd never see me in the same way." There was a long pause and then she continued. "I knew for some time that your feelings toward me had changed ... but I wasn't sure how strong they were. And I knew," here she reached up and caressed his cheek, "I knew that the only way you'd realize how you felt would be if you understood that loving again doesn't diminish the first love."

He stared at her in open amazement. "And you ... could wait?"

She shrugged slightly. "I did wait."

Slowly he drew her into his arms, hesitantly, almost afraid that even after her words that she would reject him. As he pulled her closer, she tilted her head slightly so her mouth was upturned towards his.

Their first kiss was warm and soft and full of promise – just as their friendship had always been.

End of Chapter One


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